Helpful Advice for Job Searching
Counter Offers
Resume Writing

COUNTER-OFFER CONUNDRUM

One of the common scenarios played today is the extension of a counter-offer by a candidate's present employer, during or immediately following their resignation for a new position. The psychology of this is very basic: companies manipulate departing employees either by appealing to greed and ego with an offer of promotions, training and more money, or prey upon the individual's insecurity (e.g. fear of the unknown, feelings of guilt, etc.), by making a more emotional appeal. In the former case, a simple question may be proffered, "How much will it take to get you to stay?"; or, "We will match or beat your offer" or, "We had planned to promote you at your next review". In the latter case, it is more emotional: "We haven't given you the recognition you deserve, please give us another chance"; or "We promise that you won't have to work so many hours, travel so much, or stay on that legacy maintenance project, etc." Sometimes a meeting with the CEO or some other top official is called to intimidate the departing employee with promises that are seemingly lined with gold.

In reality, the gold could be nothing but lead that will sink your career if you allow yourself to fall victim to some kinds of counter offers.

Let's put this into some perspective. First of all, imagine yourself in your boss's job or even a level or two higher. Management may have its "perks", but it also has its liabilities. Stress takes on new meaning in senior management. Picture yourself running a department that is probably short of competent staff, but long on tight deadlines, crises and unreasonable expectations from above. Now what if your boss has promised top management that certain tasks or goals, unknown to you, would be completed at some future time. Complicate this further by the fact that your boss may have three college age kids and a balloon mortgage. Oh, by the way, in their last review, they may have received a "marginal" and might have been told that if they don't meet objectives, they're out.

In the middle of all this, you walk in and resign. Your boss' reactions run the gamut from anger, frustration, resentment and maybe pure terror. They're thinking, "Who's going to do the work? We're all putting in long hours. If I push any harder, others will quit. I can't do this alone. If I get fired for missing this deliverable, I could be out of work for a year…my savings can't sustain that." Enter the counter-offer. This is your employer's attempt to transfer the prerogative and terms of your departure from yours to theirs to cover themselves. You may have the greatest relationship in the world with your boss, but when it comes down to your career advancement against their survival, they will stop at nothing to protect themselves, even to the point of making promises they have no intention of keeping.

Many people register shock when I say this, but I remember speaking with a technical manager who I met at a party some years ago. He is a family man, friendly, charitable and sensitive; in short, the kind of person we might value as a neighbor, friend or colleague. In the course of our conversation, counter offers came up. Without hesitating, he said to me, "Whenever one of my people resigns, I always extend a counter offer, just to buy the time to cover me. After they agree to stay, I gradually divide up their responsibilities among their co-workers and then I let them go about six to nine months later, either under a layoff or departmental reorganization. If they end up overpriced and unemployed, that's their problem." The old saying should be changed to say, "All's fair in business, love and war".

Let's now review some other thoughts about counter offers:

• When you resign, you are saying, I don't want to be a part of this team anymore. If you are talked into staying, no one will forget this, peers and superiors, alike. Ever.
• If money is involved and you get an immediate raise, it has to come from somewhere, which is more than likely from your next budgeted increase. However, management had to come up with the money today, and not when they were ready. This is going to ruin someone else's plans. It will probably take action by the CFO. You may have embarrassed your boss. They won't forget that either. Ever.
• If the company downsizes, plan on your name being near the top of the layoff list. Morale always sinks at layoff time, so it only makes good sense to get rid of known disloyal people who may influence the attitudes of others. Besides, if you were given a big raise at the counter offer, you're probably overpaid now. Here's a chance for your boss to look good by driving out burdensome cost. This is the perfect time to get even.
• This is purely anecdotal evidence, but over my 20 odd years as a recruiter, I see every year some business journal publish data on counter offers. The common theme that recurs is that in over 90 per cent of cases where a person accepts a counter offer, they are fired, laid off or at least looking for a new spot within 6 to 12 months.
• Let's face it, you had certain reasons to leave your company. Those reasons did not go away because you received more money or a promotion; but it is now going to be more difficult for you to fix the problem.
• One of the most common bonds that all of us share as human beings is fear of the unknown. It doesn't matter if you're in top management or on the custodial staff. Nearly all of us find a comfort level where we work and the idea of proving ourselves again, having people see our weaknesses and mistakes can strike terror into the most stalwart. It is only too easy to agree to stay, and management knows this.
• Most people in top management would leave their jobs too if a recruiter called them with the right opportunity. I have received a few calls over the years from counter-offered candidates who were then stunned to learn that the boss who counter offered them had just resigned for a better job elsewhere. In some cases, the boss had to be in the final interview process while extending the counter offer. (See the second paragraph at the beginning.)
• Nearly all candidates who accept counter offers experience some denial. When presented with the above information, their reaction is, "Oh, they would never do that to me…they respect me too well…"

In those rare cases where your employer my have a bad attitude and threaten to block your move, remember, the law is on your side. You are also free to exercise your career when and where you please. The best approach to be polite but firm. Thank your employer for the opportunities that you have received and for the career enrichment you have enjoyed, but then add, "it is in my best career interests to pursue opportunities elsewhere. I hope that we can maintain a cordial relationship in the future."

Have any questions? Feel free to drop me a line at ed@ejp.com.
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